You’re bleary eyed, blurry minded, feeling bloody awful? Your phone is dead, your money is in somebody elses’s pocket…in short, you’re drunk and disorderly and the pavement is looking an increasingly tempting place to press your face into?

Well, don’t do that.

Your face deserves better.

The Hussy have compiled an in-depth and mostly made up survey, and are proud to bring you a comprehensive guide to the 5 best spots in Brighton and Hove for a weary inebriate to have a little lie down:

5) The grassy area surrounding St Peter’s Church – redeem yourself in the ominous shadow of the Lord.

4) The Clock Tower – If you’ve not been propped up against it in your time, then you’re clearly doing this all wrong.

3) Pavilion Gardens – laughably easy to hop over the fence, and if you’re not bothered by ominous rustling in the bushes, or damp grass, then you should assume the recovery position here.

2) The beach – close your eyes, put your hood up, pretend those vicious waves are nothing more than a tropical tickle and away you go. Just be prepared to have your head trodden on by a series of disorientated clubbers.

1) The entrance to the NCP Car Park on Cannon Place – slightly off the well-beaten track of West Street which means you stand a reasonable chance of remaining undisturbed, this little-known haven for the hazy also boasts a toilet and two vending machines. Winner? You will be.