Champagne, Supernova?
“And we’ll hang out in the coolest bars, in the VIP with the movie stars…”
We all fancy a bit of that, don’t we? There’s a reason that song hung around for so long. And it isn’t because it was actually any good. It’s because most of us yearn for, or at least occasionally crave a personal jet on standby, a queue of quivering fans offering to lick us all over and a healthy disregard for the rules of modern society, ‘cos they don’t apply to mofo-ing superstars. Hedonism is great fun. If you can afford it.
Well, there is one way to feel like a genuine star of rock, without having to take out a second mortgage, or bite the head off something small, innocent, and still breathing. Go somewhere posh and exclusive. Behave very, very badly. Get kicked out. Take a seat in the gutter and revel in your newly acquired bad ass. Instant credibility. Sort of. Well, it works for Liam Gallagher. Sort of.
The Hanbury Club, 83 St George’s Road, BN2 1EF
“ The club evokes the old school supper club feel of the 20’s and 30’s but with an up to date vibe.”
Excellent. Assemble yourself an entourage, don a monacle and book a table. Best eat beforehand though, because you should be flicking the food at each other, rather than rolling it around your well-trained pallete. Extra points for gargling with the award-winning cocktails.
Blanche House, 17 Atlingworth Street, BN2 1PL
If you want to wreck a room, there are 12 to choose from. Put it on somebody else’s credit card though, as they range from £100 to £230 a night. Maybe stick to stealing towels. But make sure the staff see you leaving with them. The bar here was a finalist in the Best in Britain competition, so I suggest you straddle it without delay, and try and get the other customers to join in a chorus of ‘Come on Eileen’.
MyHotel, 17 Jubilee Street, BN1 1GE
“where Freddie Mercury meets the Maharishi”
Oh yer? Well how about we give it a temporary makeover – Spinal Tap meets Amy Winehouse? Not only will you get to mingle with the elite here, there’s a good chance you can also ruin their exclusive evening. Send the Cumbrian air-dried ham back to the kitchen, insisting it tastes damp. If your slow roast Sussex lamb doesn’t make it to your table in under ten minutes, turn the table over.
La Fourchette, 104-105 Western Road, BN1 2AA
Peruse the wine list. Insist on sampling the most expensive choices, at £45 a bottle, the Puligny Montrachet 2006 should do nicely. Declare they all taste like Toilet Duck. Produce four cans of premium lager from your bag. See if you can crack one open before being asked to leave.
Browns, 3-4 Duke Street, BN1 1AH
“Browns has a history of investing in interesting and often historic or listed buildings as premises – with striking features such as high ceilings, panoramic windows and wooden floors all providing focal.”
Do try not to piss up against a period feature now won’t you? From 4pm, Wednesday to Sunday, Browns host Martini nights. After a few of these, you and your entourage should have no trouble getting loud and abusive and easily earn yourself a coveted place on the bans list.
Tags: Beachdownwriter, Brighton, The Hanbury Club Brighton
What's on your mind?
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May 20th 2009 | 1
Juzzzy says:
Browns – not full of dour Scots, is it?
Juzzzy’s last blog post..Sparkling Idiot
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row says:
My flatmate has bad vision in one eye only, yet refuses to wear a monocle. Imagine having the enviable capacity to justifiably wear a monocle and shunning it! He’s so ungrateful.
Superbly written, as ever.
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tracey devlin says:
Fabulous summaries of places, some of which i will be going to see now x
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sean says:
…mmm Cumbrian air-dried ham mmmm…
i feel as if i’ve been thrown-out of all these places already! -
blackdog says:
If I were in your part of the woods, I would check these places out. Until then, I’m hanging out at the local faux-Irish bar with the local ditch diggers listening to Lynard Skynard.
blackdog’s last blog post..Drunken Bastard’s Plastered Cast Pilot Episode Podcast – Blue Oyster Cult
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blogcoquin says:
There a lot of nices places to see here where i have ever been, i suggest them too
blogcoquin´s last blog ..Une copine a gros seins
