Press Ganged?
Exclusive: Privacy on parade
We might be free but many commentators believe that in the light of the Max Mosley trial the press is becoming less so. So what shouldn’t you say? A good friend of The Hussy’s exclusively revealed to her that…
“I wouldn’t write that squire, not unless you want to be sixty grand down and shelling out the highest amount in a privacy action in recent history, squire, and having everyone say that because you write such scurrilous screed our press will become boring, like the French. Oh no, I really wouldn’t go there guvner.
“South of the river, at this time? “Mr Mosley did have sex with five young ladies of the night but unless you want a good caning yourself I’d advise you to steer clear. The honourable judge will only go and say that that nice Mr Mosley has a reasonable expectation of privacy, sir, no matter how ‘unconventional’ his sexual proclivities – and they certainly wouldn’t be my cup of cocoa, that’s for sure. But at the same time it isn’t ‘in the public interest’ to know what he gets up to – even though it might interest the public.
Max Mosley likes rough sex
“But oh no, I wouldn’t go there with that nice Mr Mosley (Hitler was a guest at his parents’ wedding, you know?); not unless you want that Roy Greenslade bloke from the Guardian blaming you for messing up the British press. ‘Gradually judges will develop a law on privacy that might well lead to a genuine denial of press freedom,’ he wrote. And you don’t want to have to stand outside the High Court of Justice and defend yerself by saying that the British media is being ‘strangled by stealth’, like that nice Mr Myler from the News of the World did, do you now sir? Where did you say to drop you? Chelsea. Very nice, sir. Have a good day. Tshcuss.’
Sacre Bleu! President Sarkozy preferrez la fromage bleu! Et les femmes bleu!
“Non, non, non, non. Ze French press eez so buttoned-up we should all pity le pauvre Parisian paparazzee. En France everyone has “the right to the respect of the private life” or “ze right to ze respect of ze private life”. Zerefore ze President Monsieur Mitterand was able to conceal a mistress and, ‘allo ‘allo, an illegitimate enfant for beaucoup de years.
“Did you really think it was le pain et le boursin that attracted ze Pitt- Jolies to get lost in France? Or could it have been ze fact that ze French press are so flippin’ friendly that zere was no chance of zem taking a snap of ze Pitt-Jolie frog spawn and messing up a possible deal for millions of euros (pour la charity, bien sur) with a magazine for ze premiere pictures of ze twins?
“Ze French reel in dizguzt at the gall of the Grande Bretagne tabloids. But touché, maybe zey will have to mangez their words now they have ziz President Sarkozy in ze Champs Elysee and his tres chic femme, who gave us all a real Eifell with her former Madonna with the big boobies pose in zat picture auctioned at Sothebys. C’est vrai, les newspapers Francaise said ‘non’ to les images of tres chic Carla but ze nasty British press, tres uncouth as zey are, printed them gauche, droite and everywhere. And, with ze rise of ze global information super autoroute ‘ I mean, ze internet’ vot eez to stop any old roué in Rouen checking zem out? Je ne sais pas.”
