Dani’s Dairy #1

Monkey Brain 

I would like to begin by thanking the Hussy for giving me the opportunity to share my subtle yet profound thoughts with its readers.

 

My worldly experience does not amount to much, but that does not mean that I am not an important person. In fact it makes my opinions all the more important because they have not been tempered, softened or diluted by reason.

 

Actually to be honest, none of the words that I write are actually my own; yes- they come from my body as I tappity-tap on the keyboard but they did not start in my own brain. My head is actually filled with monkeys, but unfortunately not enough of them.

 

When I was a child then my father wanted to test the theory that an infinite number of monkeys given an infinite numbers of typewriters would begat great works of art. He was a genius; but mad. His plan was to miniaturise the beasts and create a habitat for them inside my skull. They were to have everything they needed for a productive life; banana trees, bunk beds, relaxations zones with table football games, pizza in the fridge and of course typewriters. Unfortunately, he forgot to take into account the size of my head. Instead of the planned infinite number, there was only room for 37 of the creatures.

 

Advances in technology have helped a little; the typewriters were replaced with laptops – which improved the qualitya great deal because monkeys are shit at spelling. But no amount of hi-tec can make up for a slack attitude. While I write this five of the little buggers are shagging and seven are asleep. In fact only one of them is really putting any effort in to writing.

 

And he just stopped.

 

 

 

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Tags: Beachdownwriter, Dani's Dairy

1. March 18th 2009 | 1
   

     desmond_wotts says:

   The Hussy is an ageing faggot

2. March 18th 2009 | 2
   

     The Hussy says:

   an old meatball? brain’s faggots? sorry not sure what you mean.

3. March 23rd 2009 | 3

     Dani's Dairy - The Gypsies | The Hussy: Brighton's Free Magazine says:

   [...] find out how our regualr columnist gets her unique point of view read Dani’s Dairy #1 Share this story Written by The [...]

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