Dani’s Dairy #2
Dani and the Gypsies
The sun has been shining for me this week so I have been mainly pleasuring myself on the seafront.
As I strolled past the excrement of Duke’s Mound cottage zone, I noticed that the council has thoughtfully provided a caravan park by the Black Rock trains station. They are to be commended for this – a superb public service.
It was great to see all the kids scampering and families enjoying themselves. The safety conscious parents had allowed the kid’s snot to be smeared all over their faces. What a brilliant idea, no need for harmful, toxic suncream. One of the miracles of nature is the way it provides for all of our needs; mucus is stuffed to the rafters with micro-fine nano-particles perfect for reflecting back all of those harmful uv rays.
The sun was feeling particularly burny on my porcelain face so I asked one of little tykes if I could rub his snot on my face. He returned my winning smile with a blank stare; I took this as a sign of complicity and started to milk his nasal glands. The green-gold came fairly bubbling out into my eagerly receptive palm.
The appreciative parents, proud of the service their children were providing banged on the glass of their caravans. I returned their greeting by making a “milking” gesture with encircled thumb and forefinger. This got then really excited and they ran up to thank me personally using the traditional Romany gesture of dirty-nappy-throwing.
What a great community we have here in Brighton!
To find out how our regualr columnist gets her unique point of view read Dani’s Dairy #1
Tags: Dani's Dairy
What's on your mind?
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March 25th 2009 | 1
Sire says:
Too bad I didn’t have a camcorder handy when you were providing this little bit of educational forethought into the natural use of a kids snot. I’m sure it would have done well on YouTube although I can’t for the life of me think that the public will take it on as a natural form of sunscreen. If it did I’m sure that those very same parents throwing their soiled nappies in their humble gratitude of your services would be milking their kids themselves
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